How to navigate being alone in your hotel room as a woman travelling alone

Finding yourself alone in your hotel room

I’ve always found that travelling alone as a woman, my nerves and anxiety (yes, despite being a seasoned solo female traveller, I can still get the travel jitters) are always peak just before I travel and again when I arrive at my hotel and check into my hotel room. 

Whilst I love being at the airport and find the journey to the hotel just thrilling – there really is something heady and magical about being driven to somewhere new, looking out the window and taking it all in. Having said that, I often dread that window of time just after arriving at the hotel.

Once I have been shown to my room with luggage safely deposited, something odd happens. As the door slowly closes, as silence, peace and solitude descends, I suddenly feel rather unsure of what to do next. 

I have arrived! I have been yearning for this break, this luxurious gift of being alone, able to revel in my own thoughts at my own pace. 

So why am I faced with this uncertainty? 

Being alone in a hotel room during the first hour or so after arrival can be the hardest thing

I know I am not the only one to feel like this. Many posts on social media are from women asking others how they manage the overwhelming feelings they are suddenly faced with after checking into a hotel and being alone in their hotel room. 

We each face different emotions ranging from melancholy, anxiety, sadness, fear, loss of adrenaline, regret… the list goes on. It is this exact moment,experiencing these exact feelings, we were first afraid of when we set out to plan our solo trip. Darn it. 

It is almost as if, everything we have been keeping boxed up, suddenly whooshes out. A pandora’s box of ourselves is unleashed, demanding attention. 

Jane, a successful CEO of a digital agency, habitually travels solo at least a couple of times a year and she talks of how she feels during this moment. 

“When that moment finally arrives, the one I have literally been bursting to have, sometimes for months, the one when everything is unpacked and my time alone begins, I kinda crumble. I have this huge existential moment where I suddenly doubt what the hell am I doing and feel terrifyingly alone. I freeze. In that moment I often get hugely emotional and for someone who is not a cryer, this is huge. It is a release and tension all at once.” 

Don’t let the nerves take hold – get to know your hotel

It can be hard to navigate this moment. Now, after many years of taking journeys as a woman alone, I know it will pass and the best thing to do is lean into it and just let that moment be. To not allow myself to get stuck in my hotel room and order room service, instead of going out for dinner on my own.

My approach is to not allow these feelings to take hold and control me. I unpack the minimum I need to go out and explore the hotel. If I can do this within 30 mins of arrival that means momentum is driving me and nerves don’t even get a look-in!

I go and find the restaurant that I would like to dine in that night and book a table – with a nice view, arriving 30 mins before the busy time so I am seated and not having to walk through a busy restaurant on my first night. Normally I try to find the restaurant manager and ask for their guidance on this. 

Shortly after, I’ll seek out the spa to either book some treatments if I haven’t already, or to confirm and check in on the ones I have pre booked.  

Finally, I’ll wander around the hotel getting my bearings which often ends up at a nice bar or by the swimming pool, with a fantastic view, with a superbly chilled glass of wine. Perfect!

Allow your mindset to shift

By this time, my mindset has shifted and I find I have now slipped comfortably into the amazing experience in front of me.

As I relax, I become a confident woman travelling alone and begin to fully embrace the wanderlust that drove me here and settle luxuriously into my solo adventure.

If you would like to book a solo female travel trip, drop our team of luxury travel planning experts an email abeona@travelwithabeona.com and we’ll be in touch to hear all about your trip so you can stop dreaming and start planning.